will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
