I got her a Nickelback box set.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
