Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
