im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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