is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
