so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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