just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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