It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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