The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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