I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize