He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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