Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize