Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize