He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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