she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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