Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
