She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
