She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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