he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
