Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize