That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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