For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
