She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
They have beer where we have blood.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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