Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
