You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
