she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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