We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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