I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
