I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize