things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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