I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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