he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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