dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
