i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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