Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
