the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize