can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
