This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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