Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dick very happy bro
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
