You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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