I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
