are you still at the devil's house?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
