Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
