Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she looked like the before picture.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize