David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
