He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
