Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize