wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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