dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
