Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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