we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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