i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
