im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize