I need help removing her.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
