My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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