Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
