You really coming over, don't trick.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
