come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
