I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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