You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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