Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
