yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
