i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
