i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
