You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
