I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
