I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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